Customer Service Support Ticket at All-American Wizardry Supply and Custom Floor Mat Emporium
by Alex Shvartsman
Read by Alethea Kontis
Listen to the audio version
Dear Emporium Customer Service,
The other week I stumbled upon a magic e-shop and ordered a little enchanted gazebo for
my garden which was supposed to help my flowers grow better. Turns out it's cursed instead. The
gazebo howls at night and occasionally tries to eat people. Also, my petunias are wilting. When I
tried to return the gazebo, the e-shop's website was no longer there.
That singing hippogriff in your commercials always claims there's no magical problem
you can't fix. Please help!
We're sorry you had this experience. When shopping for enchanted items and spells it's
very important to choose a trusted vendor. Here at floormatsandsorcery.com we sell artisanal
enchantments, organic non-GMO poisons, and custom all-weather floor mats for your vehicle.
All our artifacts are manufactured by human workers in the mortal realm.
To tame your gazebo, we recommend Hex-B-Gone powder ($19.95). Mix one part with
three parts holy water in a 12-oz. spray bottle. For best results use the entire bottle at dawn.
May we also suggest Fairy Eggs ($14.95 per oz.)? A pinch per plant will have your
petunias blooming in no time.