Eye For Eye
by Orson Scott Card
Eye for Eye was published in 1990 as a Tor double novel, along with "Tunesmith"
by Lloyd Biggle, Jr. It is currently out of print, although it is available as an audiobook.
. . . continued from issue 18 . . .
No, I better tell the truth here, cause I wasn't that smart. It wasn't till I was halfway to the house
that I really wondered if he believed me, and it wasn't till Mama had me with a nice clean pair of
pajamas up in a nice clean room, and she was about to take my jeans and shirt and underwear
and make them nice and clean it occurred to me that maybe I was going to wish I had more
clothes on than pajamas that night. I really got kind of mad before she finally gave me back my
clothes -- she was scared that if she didn't do what I said, I'd do something to her. And then I
got to thinking that maybe I'd made things even worse by not giving her the clothes, because that
might make them think that I was planning to skip out, and so maybe they weren't planning to
kill me before but now they would , and so I probably just made things worse. Except when it
came down to it, I'd rather be wrong about the one thing and at least have my clothes, than be
wrong about the other and have to gallivant all over the country in pajamas. You don't get much
mileage on country roads barefoot in pajamas, even in the summer.
As soon as Mama left and went on downstairs, I got dressed again, including my shoes, and
climbed in under the covers. I'd slept out in the open, so I didn't mind sleeping in my clothes.
What drove me crazy was getting my shoes on the sheets. They would've yelled at me so bad at
the Children's Home.
I laid there in the dark, trying to think what I was going to do. I pretty much knew how to get
from this house out to the road, but what good would that do me? I didn't know where I was or
where the road led or how far to go, and you don't cut cross country in North Carolina -- if you
don't trip over something in the dark, you'll bump into some moonshine or marijuana operation
and they'll blast your head off, not to mention the danger of getting your throat bit out by some
tobacco farmer's mean old dog. So there I'd be running along a road that leads nowhere with
them on my tail and if they wanted to run me down, I don't think fear of cancer would slow
down your average four-wheeler.
I thought about maybe stealing a car, but I don't have the first idea how to hotwire anything. It
wasn't one of the skills you pick up at the Children's Home. I knew the idea of it, somewhat,
because I'd done some reading on electricity with the books Mr. Kaiser lent me so I could maybe
try getting ready for the GED, but there wasn't a chapter in there on how to get a Lincoln
running without a key. Didn't know how to drive, either. All the stuff you pick up from your
dad or from your friends at school, I just never picked up at all.
Maybe I dozed off, maybe I didn't. But I suddenly noticed that I could see in the dark. Not see,
of course. Feel the people moving around. Not far off at first, except like a blur, but I could feel
the near ones, the other ones in the house. It was cause they was sparky, of course, but as I laid
there feeling them drifting here and there, in the rhythms of sleep and dreams, or walking
around, I began to realize that I'd been feeling people all along, only I didn't know it. They
wasn't sparky, but I always knew where they were, like shadows drifting in the back of your
mind, I didn't even know that I knew it, but they were there. It's like when Diz Riddle got him
his glasses when he was ten years old and all of a sudden he just went around whooping and
yelling about all the stuff he saw. He always used to see it before, but he didn't rightly know
what half the stuff was. Like pictures on coins. He knew the coins was bumpy, but he didn't
know they was pictures with writing and stuff. That's how it was.
I laid there and I could make a map in my brain where I could see a whole bunch of different
people, and the more I tried, the better I could see. Pretty soon it wasn't just in that house. I
could feel them in other houses, dimmer and fainter. But in my mind I didn't see no walls so I
didn't know whether somebody was in the kitchen or in the bathroom, I had to think it out, and it
was hard, it took all my concentration. The only guide I had was that I could see electrical wires
when the current was flowing through them, so wherever a light was on or a clock was running
or something, I could feel this thin line, really thin, not like the shadows of people. It wasn't
much, but it gave me some idea of where some of the walls might be.
If I could've just told who was who I might have made some guesses about what they was doing.
Who was asleep and who was awake. But I couldn't even tell who was a kid and who was a
grown-up, cause I couldn't see sizes, just brightness. Brightness was the only way I knew who
was close and who was far away.
I was pure lucky I got so much sleep during the day when that guy was giving me a ride from
Roanoke to Eden. Well, that wasn't lucky, I guess, since I wished I hadn't gone to Eden at all,
but at least having that long nap meant that I had a better shot at staying awake until things
There was a clump of them in the next house. It was hard to sort them out, cause three of them
was a lot brighter, so I thought they was closer, and it took a while to realize that it was probably
Mama and Daddy and Papa Lem along with some others. Anyway it was a meeting, and it broke
up after a while, and all except Papa Lem came over. I didn't know what the meeting was about,
but I knew they was scared and mad. Mostly scared. Well, so was I. But I calmed myself down,
the way I'd been practicing, so I didn't accidentally kill nobody. That kind of practice made it so
I could keep myself from getting too lively and sparky, so they'd think I was asleep. They didn't
see as clear as I did, too, so that'd help. I thought maybe they'd all come up and get me, but no,
they just all waited downstairs while one of them came up, and he didn't come in and get me,
neither. All he did was go to the other rooms and wake up whoever was sleeping there and get
them downstairs and out of the house.
Well, that scared me worse than ever. That made it plain what they had in mind, all right.
Didn't want me giving off sparks and killing somebody close by when they attacked me. Still,
when I thought about it, I realized that it was also a good sign. They was scared of me, and
rightly so. I could reach farther and strike harder than any of them. And they saw I could throw
off what got tossed at me, when I flung back what Papa Lem's daughter tried to do to me. They
didn't know how much I could do.
Neither did I.
Finally all the people was out of the house except the ones downstairs. There was others outside
the house, maybe watching, maybe not, but I figured I better not try to climb out the window.
Then somebody started walking up the stairs again, alone. There wasn't nobody else to fetch
down, so they could only be coming after me. It was just one person, but that didn't do me no
good -- even one grown man who knows how to use a knife is better off than me. I still don't
have my full growth on me, or at least I sure hope I don't, and the only fights I ever got in were
slugging matches in the yard. For a minute I wished I'd took kung fu lessons instead of sitting
around reading math and science books to make up for dropping out of school so young. A lot
of good math and science was going to do me if I was dead.
The worst thing was I couldn't see him. Maybe they just moved all the children out of the house
so they wouldn't make noise in the morning and wake me. Maybe they was just being nice.
And this guy coming up the stairs might just be checking on me or bringing me clean clothes or
something -- I couldn't tell. So how could I twist him up, when I didn't know if they was trying
to kill me or what? But if he was trying to kill me, I'd wish I'd twisted him before he ever came
into the room with me.
Well, that was one decision that got made for me. I laid there wondering what to do for so long
that he got to the top of the stairs and came to my room and turned the knob and came in.
I tried to breathed slow and regular, like somebody asleep. Tried to keep from getting too
sparky. If it was somebody checking on me, they'd go away.
He didn't go away. And he walked soft, too, so as not to wake me up. He was real scared. So
scared that I finally knew there was no way he was there to tuck me in and kiss me good night.
So I tried to twist him, to send sparks at him. But I didn't have any sparks to send! I mean I
wasn't mad or anything. I'd never tried to kill somebody on purpose before, it was always
because I was already mad and I just lost control and it happened. Now I'd been calming myself
down so much that I couldn't lose control. I had no sparks at all to send, just my normal shining
shadow, and he was right there and I didn't have a second to lose so I rolled over. Toward him,
which was maybe dumb, cause I might have run into his knife, but I didn't know yet for sure that
he had a knife. All I was thinking was that I had to knock him down or push him or something.
The only person I knocked down was me. I bumped him and hit the floor. He also cut me with
the knife. Not much of a cut, he mostly just snagged my shirt, but if I was scared before, I was
terrified now cause I knew he had a knife and I knew even more that I didn't. I scrambled back
away form him. There was almost no light from the window, it was like being in a big closet, I
couldn't see him, he couldn't see me. Except of course that I could see him, or at least sense
where he was, and now I was giving off sparks like crazy so unless he was weaker than I
thought, he could see him too.
Well, he was weaker than I thought. He just kind of drifted, and I could hear him swishing the
knife through the air in front of him. He had no idea where I was.
And all the time I was trying to get madder and madder, and it wasn't working. You can't get
mad by trying. Maybe an actor can, but I'm no actor. So I was scared and sparking but I
couldn't get that pulse to mess him up. The more I thought about it, the calmer I got.
It's like you've been carrying around a machine gun all your life, accidentally blasting people
you didn't really want to hurt and then the first time you really want to lay into somebody, it
So I stopped trying to get mad. I just sat there realizing I was going to die, that after I finally got
myself under control so I didn't kill people all the time anymore, now that I didn't really want to
commit suicide, now I was going to get wasted. And they didn't even have the guts to come at
me openly. Sneaking in the dark to cut my throat while I was asleep. And in the meeting where
they decided to do it, my long lost but loving mama and daddy were right there. Heck, my dear
sweet daddy was downstairs right now, waiting for this assassin to come down and tell him that I
was dead. Would he cry for me then? Boo hoo my sweet little boy's all gone? Mick is in the
cold cold ground?
I was mad. As simple as that. Stop thinking about being mad, and start thinking about things
that if you think about them, they'll make you mad. I was so sparky with fear that when I got
mad, too, it was worse than it ever was before, built up worse, you know. Only when I let it fly,
it didn't go for the guy up there swishing his knife back and forth in the dark. That pulse of fire
in me went right down through the floor and straight to dear old Dad. I could hear him scream.
He felt it, just like that. He felt it. And so did I. Because that wasn't what I meant to do. I only
met him that day, but he was my father, and I did him worse than I ever did anybody before in
my life. I didn't plan to do it. You don't plan to kill your father.
All of a sudden I was blinded by light. For a second I thought it was the other kind of light,
sparks, them retaliating, twisting me. Then I realized it was my eyes being blinded, and it was
the overhead light in the room that was on. The guy with the knife had finally realized that the
only reason not to have the light on was so I wouldn't wake up, but now that I was awake he
might as well see what he's doing. Lucky for me the light blinded him just as much as it blinded
me, or I'd have been poked before I saw what hit me. Instead I had time to scramble on back to
the far corner of the room.
I wasn't no hero. But I was seriously thinking about running at him, attacking a guy with a
knife. I would have been killed, but I couldn't think of anything else to do.
Then I thought of something else to do. I got the idea from the way I could feel the electric
current in the wires running from the lightswitch through the wall. That was electricity, and the
lady in Roanoke called my sparkiness bio-electricity. I ought to be able to do something with it,
I thought first that maybe I could short-circuit something, but I didn't think I had that much
electricity in me. I thought of maybe tapping into the house current to add to my own juice, but
then I remembered that connecting up your body to house current is the same thing other folks
call electrocution. I mean, maybe I can tap into house wiring, but if I was wrong, I'd be real
But I could still do something. There was a table lamp right next to me. I pulled off the shade
and threw it at the guy, who was still standing by the door, thinking about what the scream
downstairs meant. Then I grabbed the lamp and turned it on, and then smashed the lightbulb on
the nightstand. Sparks. Then it was out.
I held the lamp in my hand, like a weapon, so he'd think I was going to beat off his knife with
my lamp. And if my plan was a bust, I guess that's what I would've done. But while he was
looking at me, getting ready to fight me knife against lamp, I kind of let the jagged end of the
lamp rest on the bedspread. And then I used my sparkiness, the anger that was still in me. I
couldn't fling it at the guy, or well I could have, but it would've been like the bus driver, a six-month case of lung cancer. By the time he died of that, I'd be six months worth of dead from
multiple stab wounds to the neck and chest.
So I let my sparkiness build up and flow out along my arm, out along the lamp, like I was
making my shadow grow. And it worked. The sparks just went right on down the lamp to the
tip, and built up and built up, and all the time I was thinking about how Papa Lem was trying to
kill me cause I thought his daughter was ugly and how he made me kill my daddy before I even
knew him half a day and that charge built up.
It built up enough. Sparks started jumping across inside the broken light bulb, right there against
bedspread. Real sparks, the kind I could see, not just feel. And in two seconds that bedspread
was on fire. Then I yanked the lamp so the cord shot right out of the wall, and I threw it at the
guy, and while he was dodging I scooped up the bedspread and ran at him. I wasn't sure whether
I'd catch on fire or he would, but I figured he'd be too panicked and surprised to think of
stabbing me through the bedspread, and sure enough he didn't, he dropped the knife and tried to
get off the bedspread. Which he didn't do too good, because I was still pushing it at him. Then
he tried to get through the door, but I kicked his ankle with my shoe, and he fell down, still
fighting off the blanket.
I got the knife and sliced right across the back of his thigh with it. Geez it was sharp. Or maybe
I was so mad and scared that I cut him stronger than I ever thought I could, but it went clear to
the bone. He was screaming from the fire and his leg was gushing blood and the fire was
catching on the wallpaper and it occurred to me that they couldn't chase me too good if they was
trying to put out a real dandy house fire.
It also occurred to me that I couldn't run away too good if I was dead inside that house fire. And
thinking of maybe dying in the fire made me realize that the guy was burning to death and I did
it to him, something every bit as terrible as cancer, and I didn't care, because I'd killed so many
people that it was nothing to me now, when a guy like that was trying to kill me, I wasn't even
sorry for his pain, cause he wasn't feeling nothing worse than Old Peleg felt, and in fact that
even made me feel pretty good; because it was like getting even for Old Peleg's death, even
though it was me killed them both. I mean how could I get even for Peleg dying by killing
somebody else? Okay, maybe it makes sense in a way, cause it was their fault I was in the
orphanage instead of growing up here. Or maybe it made sense because this guy deserved to die,
and Peleg didn't, so maybe somebody who deserved it had to die a death as bad as Peleg's, or
something. I don't know. I sure as hell wasn't thinking about that then. I just knew that I was
hearing a guy scream himself to death and I didn't even want to help him or even try to help him
or nothing. I wasn't enjoying it, either. I wasn't thinking, Burn you sucker! Or anything like
that, but I knew right then that I wasn't even human, I was just a monster, like I always thought,
like in the slasher movies. This was straight from the slasher movies, somebody burning up and
screaming, and there's the monster just standing there in the flames and he isn't burning.
And that's the truth. I wasn't burning. There was flames all around me, but it kind of shied back
from me, because I was so full of sparking from hating myself so bad that it was like the flames
couldn't get through to me. I've thought about that a lot since then. I mean, even that Swedish
scientist doesn't know all about this bio-electrical stuff. Maybe when I get real sparky it makes
it so other stuff can't hit me. Maybe that's how some generals in the Civil War used to ride
around in the open -- or maybe that was that general in World War II, I can't remember -- and
bullets didn't hit them or anything. Maybe if you're charged up enough, things just can't get to
you. I don't know. I just know that by the time I finally decided to open the door and actually
opened it, the whole room was burning and the door was burning and I just opened it and walked
through. Course now I got a bandage on my hand to prove that I couldn't grab a hot doorknob
without hurting myself a little, but I shouldn't've been able to stay alive in that room and I came
out without even my hair singed.
I started down the hall, not knowing who was still in the house. I wasn't used to being able to
see people by their sparkiness yet, so I didn't think of checking, I just ran down the stairs
carrying that bloody knife. But it didn't matter. They all ran away before I got there, all except
Daddy. He was lying in the middle of the floor in the living room, doubled up, lying with his
head in a pool of vomit and his butt in a pool of blood, shaking like he was dying of cold. I
really done him. I really tore him up inside. I don't think he even saw me. But he was my
daddy, and even a monster don't leave his daddy for the fire to get him. So I grabbed his arms to
try to pull him out.
I forgot how sparky I was, worse than ever. The second I touched him the sparkiness just rushed
out of me and all over him. It never went that way before, just completely surrounded him like
he was a part of me, like he was completely drowning in my light. It wasn't what I meant to do
at all. I just forgot. I was trying to save him and instead I gave him a hit like I never gave
nobody before, and I couldn't stand it, I just screamed.
Then I dragged him out. He was all limp, but even if I killed him, even if I turned him to jelly
inside, he wasn't going to burn, that's all I could think of, that and how I ought to walk back into
that house myself and up the stairs and catch myself on fire and die.
But I didn't do it, as you might guess. There was people yelling Fire! and shouting Stay back!
and I knew that I better get out of there. Daddy's body was lying on the grass in front of the
house, and I took off around the back. I thought maybe I heard some gunshots, but it could've
been popping and cracking of timbers in the fire, I don't know. I just ran around the house and
along toward the road, and if there was people in my way they just got out of the way, because
even the most dimwitted inbred pukebrained kid in that whole village would've seen my sparks,
I was so hot.
I ran till the asphalt ended and I was running on the dirt road. There was clouds so the moon was
hardly any light at all, and I kept stumbling off the road into the weeds. I fell once and when I
was getting up I could see the fire behind me. The whole house was burning, and there was
flames above it in the trees. Come to think of it there hadn't been all that much rain, and those
trees were dry. A lot more than one house was going to burn tonight, I figured, and for a second
I even thought maybe nobody'd chase me.
But that was about as stupid an idea as I ever had. I mean, if they wanted to kill me before
because I said Papa Lem's girl was ugly, how do you think the felt about me now that I burned
down their little hidden town? Once they realized I was gone, they'd be after me and I'd be
lucky if they shot me quick.
I even thought about cutting off the road, dangerous or not, and hiding in the woods. But I
decided to get as much distance as I could along the road till I saw headlights.
Just when I decided that, the road ended. Just bushes and trees. I went back, tried to find the
road. It must have turned but I didn't know which way. I was tripping along like a blind man in
the grass, trying to feel my way to the ruts of the dirt road, and of course that's when I saw
headlights heading away off toward the burning houses -- there was at least three houses
burning now. They knew the town was a total loss by now, they was probably just leaving
enough folks to get all the children out and away to a safe place, while the men came after me.
It's what I would have done, and to hell with cancer, they knew I couldn't stop them all before
they did what they wanted to me. And here I couldn't even find the road to get away from them.
By the time their headlights got close enough to show the road, it'd be too late to get away.
I was about to run back into the woods when all of a sudden a pair of headlights went on not
twenty feet away, and pointed right at me. I damn near wet my pants. I thought, Mick Winger,
you are a dead little boy right this second.
And then I heard her calling to me. "Get on over here, Mick, you idiot, don't stand there in the
light, get on over here." It was the lady from Roanoke. I still couldn't see her cause of the
lights, but I knew her voice, and I took off. The road didn't end, it just turned a little and she
was parked right where the dirt road met up sideways with a gravel road. I got around to the
door of the car she was driving, or truck or whatever it was -- a four-wheel-drive Blazer maybe,
I know it had a four-wheel-drive shift lever in it -- anyway the door was locked and she was
yelling at me to get in and I was yelling back that it was locked until finally she unlocked it and I
climbed in. She backed up so fast and swung around onto the gravel in a spin that near threw me
right out the door, since I hadn't closed it yet. Then she took off so fast going forward, spitting
gravel behind her, that the door closed itself.
"Fasten your seatbelt," she says to me.
"Did you follow me here?" I says.
"No, I just happened to be here picnicking," she says. "Fasten your damn seat belt."
I did, but then I turned around in my seat and looked out the back. There was five or six sets of
headlights, making the job to get from the dirt road onto the gravel road. We didn't have more
than a mile on them.
"We've been looking for this place for years," she says. "We thought it was in Rockingham
County, that's how far off we were."
"Where is it, then?" I says.
"Alamance County," she says.
And then I says, "I don't give a damn what county it is! I killed my own daddy back there!"
And she says to me," Don't get mad now, don't get mad at me, I'm sorry, just calm down." That
was all she could think of, how I might get mad and lose control and kill her, and I don't blame
her, cause it was the hardest thing I ever did, keeping myself from busting out right there in the
car, and it would've killed her, too. The pain in my hand was starting to get to me, too, from
where I grabbed the doorknob. It was just building up and building up.
She was driving a lot faster than the headlights reached. We'd be going way too fast for a curve
before she even saw it, and then she'd slam on the brakes and we'd skid and sometimes I
couldn't believe we didn't just roll over and crash. But she always got out of it.
I couldn't face back anymore. I just sat there with my eyes closed, trying to get calm, and then
I'd remember my daddy who I didn't even like but he was my daddy lying there in his blood and
his puke, and I'd remember that guy who burned to death up in my room and even though I
didn't care at the time, I sure cared now, I was so angry and scared and I hated myself so bad I
couldn't hold it in, only I also couldn't let it out, and I kept wishing I could just die. Then I
realized that the guys following us were close enough that I could feel them. Or no it wasn't that
they were close. They was just so mad that I could see their sparks flying like never before.
Well as long as I could see them I could let fly, couldn't I? I just flung out toward them. I don't
know if I hit them. I don't know if my bio-electricity is something I can throw like that or what.
But at least I shucked it off myself, and I didn't mess up the lady who was driving.
When we hit asphalt again, I found out that I didn't know what crazy driving was before. She
peeled out and now she began to look at a curve ahead and then switch off the headlights until
she was halfway through the curve, it was the craziest thing I ever saw, but it also made sense.
They had to be following our lights, and when our lights went out they wouldn't know where we
was for a minute. They also wouldn't know that the road curved ahead, and they might even
crash up or at least they'd have to slow down. Of course, we had a real good chance of ending
up eating trees ourselves, but she drove like she knew what she was doing.
We came to a straight section with a crossroads about a mile up. She switched off the lights
again, and I thought maybe she was going to turn, but she didn't. Just went on and on and on,
straight into the pitch black. Now, that straight section was long, but it didn't go on forever, and
I don't care how good a driver you are, you can't keep track of how far you've gone in the dark.
Just when I thought for sure we'd smash into something, she let off the gas and reached her hand
out the window with a flashlight. We was still going pretty fast, but the flashlight was enough to
make a reflector up ahead flash back at us, so she knew where the curve was, and it was farther
off than I thought. She whipped us around that curve and then around another, using just a
couple of blinks from the flashlight, before she switched on her headlights again.
I looked behind us to see if I could see anybody. "You lost them!" I says.
"Maybe," she says. "You tell me."
So I tried to feel where they might be, and sure enough, they was sparky enough that I could just
barely tell where they was, away back. Split up, smeared out. "They're going every which
way," I says.
"So we lost a few of them," she says. "They aren't going to give up, you know."
"I know," I says.
"You're the hottest thing going," she says.
"And you're a daughter of Esau," I says.
"Like hell I am," she says. "I'm a great-great-great-granddaugther of Jacob Yow, who happened
to be bio-electrically talented. Like if you're tall and athletic, you can play basketball. That's all
it is, just a natural talent. Only he went crazy and started inbreeding his whole family, and
they've got these stupid ideas about being the chosen of God and all the time they're just
"Tell me about it," I says.
"You can't help it," she says. "You didn't have anybody to teach you. I'm not blaming you."
But I was blaming me.
She says, "Ignorant, that's what they are. Well, my grandpa didn't want to just keep reading the
Bible and killing any revenuers or sheriffs or whatever who gave us trouble. He wanted to find
out what we are. He also didn't want to marry the slut they picked out for him because he
wasn't particularly dusty. So he left. They hunted him down and tried to kill him, but he got
away, and he married. And he also studied and became a doctor and his kids grew up knowing
that they had to find out what it is, this power. It's like the old stories of witches, women who
get mad and suddenly your cows start dying. Maybe they didn't even know they were doing it.
Summonings and love spells and come-hithers, everybody can do a little, just like everybody can
throw a ball and sometimes make a basket, but some people can do it better than others. And
Papa Lem's people, they do it best of all, better and better, because they're breeding for it.
We've got to stop them, don't you see? We've got to keep them from learning how to control it.
Because now we know more about it. It's all tied up with the way the human body heals itself.
In Sweden they've been changing the currents around the heal tumors. Cancer. The opposite of
what you've been doing, but it's the same principle. Do you know what that means? If they
could control it, Lem's people could be healers, not killers. Maybe all it takes is to do it with
love, not anger."
"Did you kill them little girls in orphanages with love?" I says.
And she just drives, she doesn't say a thing, just drives. "Damn," she says, "it's raining."
The road was slick in two seconds. She slowed way down. It came down harder and harder. I
looked behind us and there was headlights back there again. Way back, but I could still see
them. "They're on us again," I says.
"I can't go any faster in the rain," she says.
"It's raining on them too," I says.
"Not with my luck."
And I says, "It'll put the fire out. Back where they live."
And she says, "It doesn't matter. They'll move. They know we found them, because we picked
you up. So they'll move."
I apologized for causing trouble, and she says, "We couldn't let you die in there. I had to go
there and save you if I could."
"Why?" I ask her. "Why not let me die?"
"Let me put it another way," she says. "If you decided to stay with them, I had to go in there and
And I says to her, "You're the queen of compassion, you know?" And I thought about it a little.
"You're just like they are, you know?" I says. "You wanted to get pregnant just like they did.
You wanted to breed me like a stud horse."
"If I wanted to breed you," she says, "I would have done it on the hill this morning. Yesterday
morning. You would've done it. And I should've made you, because if you went with them, our
only hope was to have a child of yours that we could raise to be a decent person. Only it turned
out you're a decent person, so we didn't have to kill you. Now we can study you and learn about
this from the strongest living example of the phenomenon" -- I don't know how to pronounce
that, but you know what I mean. Or what she meant, anyway.
And I says to her, "Maybe I don't want you to study me, did you think of that?"
And she says to me, "Maybe what you want don't amount to a goldfish fart." Or anyway that's
what she meant.
That's about when they started shooting at us. Rain or no rain, they was pushing it so they got
close enough to shoot, and they wasn't half bad at it, seeing as the first bullet we knew about
went right through the back window and in between us and smacked a hole in the windshield.
Which made all kinds of cracks in the glass so she couldn't see, which made her slow down
more, which meant they was even closer.
Just then we whipped around a corner and our headlights lit up a bunch of guys getting out of a
car with guns in their hands, and she says, "Finally." So I figured they was some of her people,
there to take the heat off. But at that same second Lem's people must have shot out a tire or
maybe she just got a little careless for a second cause after all she couldn't see too good through
the windshield, but anyway she lost control and we skidded and flipped over, rolled over it felt
like five times, all in slow motion, rolling and rolling, the doors popping open and breaking off,
the windshield cracking and crumbling away, and there we hung in our seat belts, not talking or
nothing, except maybe I was saying O my God or something and then we smacked into
something and just stopped, which jerked us around inside the car and then it was all over.
I heard water rushing. A stream, I thought. We can wash up. Only it wasn't a stream, it was the
gasoline pouring out of the tank. And then I heard gunshots from back up by the road. I didn't
know who was fighting who, but if the wrong guys won they'd just love to catch us in a nice hot
gasoline fire. Getting out wasn't going to be all that hard. The doors were gone so we didn't
have to climb out a window or anything.
We were leaned over on the left side, so her door was mashed against the ground. I says to her,
"We got to climb out my door." I had brains enough to hook one arm up over the lip of the car
before I unbuckled my seat belt, and then I hoisted myself out and stayed perched up there on the
side of the car, up in the air, so I could reach down and help her out.
Only she wasn't climbing out. I yelled at her and she didn't answer. I thought for a second she
was dead, but then I saw that her sparks was still there. Funny, how I never saw she had any
sparkiness before, because I didn't know to look for it, but now, even though it was dim, I could
see it. Only it wasn't so dim, it was real busy, like she was trying to heal herself. The gurgling
was still going on, and everything smelled like gasoline. There was still shooting going on. And
even if nobody came down to start us on fire on purpose, I saw enough car crashes at the movies
to know you didn't need a match to start a car on fire. I sure didn't want to be near the car if it
caught, and I sure didn't want her in it. But I couldn't see how to climb down in and pull her
out. I mean I'm not a weakling but I'm not Mr. Universe either.
It felt like I sat there for a whole minute before I realized I didn't have to pull her out my side of
the car, I could pull her out the front cause the whole windshield was missing and the roof was
only mashed down a little, cause there was a rollbar in the car -- that was real smart, putting a
rollbar in. I jumped off the car. It wasn't raining right here, but it had rained, so it was slippery
and wet. Or maybe it was slippery from the gasoline, I don't know. I got around the front of the
car and up to the windshield, and I scraped the bits of glass off with my shoe. Then I crawled
partway in and reached under her and undid her seat belt, and tried to pull her out, but her legs
was hung up under the steering wheel and it took forever, it was terrible, and all the time I kept
listening for her to breathe, and she didn't breathe, and so I kept getting more scared and I was
going to get her out of the car even if I had to break her legs to do it, only I didn't have to break
her legs and she finally slid out and I dragged her away from the car. It didn't catch on fire, but I
couldn't know it wasn't going to.
And anyway all I cared about then was her, not breathing, lying there limp on the grass with her
neck all floppy and I was holding on to her crying and angry and scared and I had us both
covered with sparks, like we was the same person, just completely covered, and I was crying and
saying, Live! I couldn't even call her by her name or nothing because I didn't know her name. I
just know that I was shaking like I had the chills and so was she and she was breathing now and
whimpering like somebody just stepped on a puppy and the sparks just kept flowing around us
both and I felt like somebody sucked everything out of me, like I was a wet towel and somebody
wrung me out and flipped me into a corner, and then I don't remember until I woke up here.
What did it feel like? What you did to her?
It felt like when I covered her with light, it was like I was taking over doing what her own body
should've done, it was like I was healing her. Maybe I got that idea because she said something
about healing when she was driving the car, but she wasn't breathing when I dragged her out,
and then she was breathing. So I want to know if I healed her. Because if she got healed when I
covered her with my own light, then maybe I didn't kill my daddy either, because it was kind of
like that, I think it was kind of like that, what happened when I dragged him out of his house.
I been talking a long time now, and you still told me nothing. Even if you think I'm just a killer
and you want me dead, you can tell me about her. Is she still alive?
Well then how come I can't see her? How come she isn't here with the rest of you?
She had some surgery.
But did I help her? Or did I twist her? You got to tell me. Cause if I didn't help her then I hope
I fail your test and you kill me cause I can't think of a good reason why I should be alive if all I
can do is kill people.
You helped her, Mick. That last bullet caught her in the head. That's why she crashed.
But she wasn't bleeding!
It was dark, Mick. You couldn't see. You had her blood all over you. But it doesn't
matter now. We have the bullet out. As far as we can tell, there was no brain damage.
There should have been. She should have been dead.
So I did help her.
Yes. But we don't know how. All kinds of stories, you know, about faith healing, that sort
of thing. Laying on of hands. Maybe it's the kind of thing you did, merging the bio-magnetic field. A lot of things don't make any sense yet. There's no way we can see that
the tiny amount of electricity in a human bio-electric system could influence somebody a
hundred miles off, but they summoned you, and you came. We need to study you, Mick.
We've never had anybody as powerful as you. Tell the truth, maybe there's never been
anybody like you. Or maybe all the healings in the New Testament --
I don't want to hear about no testaments. Papa Lem gave me about all the testaments I ever need
to hear about.
Will you help us, Mick?
Help you how?
Let us study you.
Go ahead and study.
Maybe it won't be enough just to study how you heal people.
I'm not going to kill nobody for you. If you try to make me kill somebody I'll kill you first till
you have to kill me just to save your own lives, do you understand me?
Calm down, Mick. Don't get angry. There's plenty of time to think about things. Actually
we're glad that you don't want to kill anybody. If you enjoyed it, or even if you hadn't
been able to control it and kept on indiscriminately killing anyone who enraged you, you
wouldn't have lived to be seventeen. Because yes, we're scientists, or at least we're finally
learning enough that we can start being scientists. But first we're human beings, and we're
in the middle of a war, and children like you are the weapons. If they ever got someone
like you to stay with them, work with them, you could seek us out and destroy us. That's
what they wanted you to do.
That's right, that's one thing Papa Lem said, I don't know if I mentioned it before, but he said
that the children of Israel were supposed to kill every man, woman, and child in Canaan, cause
idolaters had to make way for the children of God.
Well, you see, that's why our branch of the family left. We didn't think it was such a
terrific idea, wiping out the entire human race and replacing it with a bunch of murderous,
incestuous religious fanatics. For the last twenty years, we've been able to keep them from
getting somebody like you, because we've murdered the children that were so powerful
they had to put them outside to be reared by others.
It's a war. We didn't like killing children. But it's like bombing the place where your
enemies are building a secret weapon. The lives of a few children -- no, that's a lie. It
nearly split us apart ourselves, the arguments over that. Letting you live -- it was a
terrible risk. I voted against it every time. And I don't apologize for that, Mick. Now that
you know what they are, and you chose to leave, I'm glad I lost. But so many things could
have gone wrong.
They won't put any more babies out to orphanages now, though. They're not that dumb.
But now we have you. Maybe we can learn how to block what they do. Or how to heal the
people they attack. Or how to identify sparkiness, as you call it, from a distance. All kinds
of possibilities. But sometime in the future, Mick, you may be the only weapon we have.
Do you understand that?
I don't want to.
You wanted to kill me?
I wanted to protect people from you. It was safest. Mick, I really am glad it worked out
I don't know whether to believe you, Mr. Kaiser. You're such a good liar. I thought you were
so nice to me all that time because you were just a nice guy.
Oh, he is, Mick. He's a nice guy. Also a damn fine liar. We kind of needed both those
attributes in the person we had looking out for you.
Well, anyway, that's over with.
What's over with?
Killing me. Isn't it?
That's up to you, Mick. If you ever start getting crazy on us, or killing people that aren't
part of this war of ours --
I won't do that!
But if you did, Mick. It's never too late to kill you.
Can I see her?
The lady from Roanoke! Isn't it about time you told me her name?
Come on. She can tell you herself.